


Rules of the Soul

by starlightwalking



Series: Ataquenta Silmarillion [1]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Back to Middle-earth Month 2021, Cuiviénen, Developing Relationship, Elf Sex, F/F, F/M, Formation of Cultural Norms, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, Laws and Customs Among the Eldar, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Polyamory, Screw Yule 2021, Soul Bond, The Great Journey, Tirion-upon-Túna, Transphobia, Well-Meaning But Harmful Religious Figures, Worldbuilding, amatonormativity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29897472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: An examination of bonds, brotherhood, and betrothal through the stories of the first Kings of the Eldar and those they love.
Relationships: Elu Thingol | Elwë Singollo/Finwë/Ingwë, Elu Thingol | Elwë Singollo/Melian, Finwë & Manwë Súlimo, Finwë/Indis/Míriel Þerindë, Finwë/Ingwë, Indis/Míriel Þerindë, Ingwë/Ingwë’s Wife
Series: Ataquenta Silmarillion [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076816
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12
Collections: Back to Middle-earth Month (B2MEM) 2021, Screw Yule 2021





	Rules of the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a fic exploring my headcanons on how the Laws and Customs of the Eldar came to be, what a soul bond is and how it is created, and the relationships between the Unbegotten elves and those who followed.  
> This fic has been a long time coming; I've been wanting to about my LaCE headcanons for ages, but I wanted to do it /right/. I was originally going to wait until this fic was completely finished to post, but it's technically tied to a few events, so I figured I would post it now.
> 
> This was very much inspired/enabled by some Screw Yule prompts, though it's two months late to that event. For the ship prompts, this fits into prompt 1) Finwë/Míriel/Indis and prompt 13) Ingwë/Finwë/Elwë, and I took the title from the list of titles.
> 
> And I was inspired to actually get my act together and post at least the first chapter by the B2MeM21 prompt for Day 5:  
> "The Elves must make the decision on whether to make the journey or stay behind. In some cases, friends who knew each other for years might have been split apart, and for a very long while. Use this theme of those who make a journey or those who are left behind (or both) in your creation."  
> Chapter 1 takes place at Cuiviénen, but the rest of the fic is very much about the Great Journey, so I figured it fit. Hopefully some of the other prompts will inspire me to keep writing more of this fic :)
> 
> This fic is part of my "base canon" series, which I have uncreatively titled Ataquenta Silmarillion (the Silmarillion Retold), but can be read entirely on its own (and it's the first installment chronologically anyway).
> 
> For this verse, I am going with the follow headcanon that doesn't include the existence of Imin, Tata, Enel, and their wives, with the following explanation:  
> The elves were not divided in a way that makes a lot of sense; the Cuiviénenyarna is a story made up later to justify the strangeness of the divisions. Imin, Iminyë, Tata, Tatië, Enel, and Enelyë did not actually exist; the Unbegotten elves Woke in small groups and banded together as they came across one another. There were, however, a total of 144 Unbegotten elves who divided into the numbers present in the Cuiviénenyarna, but the story of how was a lot less simple.
> 
> I will provide notes and explanations for other headcanons as they appear in the story; if you have any questions about something, feel free to ask, I love getting into the meta of things!

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

She didn’t respond, just staring out into the water of the lake in whose waters she had been born. She was one of the first, Finwë remembered, and the first of his people. Her father Ñolyo was a Tatya, a friend; her mother Silindë was a Nelya, an ally. She had her father’s dark eyes, her mother’s silvery hair. But that was all she had of them, now.

“I cannot imagine...” Finwë trailed off.

He _couldn’t_ , not really. He had lost friends—Ñolyo and Silindë among them, now—but not...not anyone he had a bond with, for he had no bonds. The Unbegotten, as the next generation of Quendi had begun to call their elders, came into being with bonds of brotherhood only, and not everyone was so lucky. Ñolyo and Silindë had not been: that is why they were so joyous when they discovered they had forged a new kind of bond together, through the act of a bodily union. And then wondrously, they made not only a new bond, but a new _soul_ , who became Míriel Þerindë.

But Finwë had no siblings—nor did his soul have a mate, not yet. He was alone. And now—Míriel, who had never known life without the bond of a child to their parents...she was alone, too.

“I cannot imagine,” he said again, “what it is like to lose one’s parents. But...I do know the absence of a bond.”

“I’m so—empty,” she whispered, still not looking at him, not yet. “It’s...different than when they went away hunting. I couldn’t feel them then, they were too far away, but now it’s like something inside me is broken. To see Atto’s body...and we do not know what happened to Ammë...”

“I cannot replace them,” Finwë said. “No one can. But I am a leader of our people, and I promise I will be at your side. I will be with you, Míriel, if you would let me.”

 _Now_ she looked up at him, dark eyes glittering like the jewels she was named for. Finwë felt something stir in his soul—

And then she looked back out onto the water, a young nís lost in her grief, and his fëa stilled.

“Alright,” she murmured. And then, after a pause: “...Thank you.”

* * *

“She’s so precious,” Antarë breathed, brushing a lock of golden hair out of the sleeping child’s face. “I think I understand why we want to make them, and protect them. Children, I mean.”

Ingwë kissed his niece’s brow, then took Antarë’s hand. “Let her sleep,” he murmured. “You are right...I cannot bear the thought of any discomfort coming to her, let alone harm.”

They closed the tent flap and settled outside. Antarë sighed, leaning against her beloved, resting her head on his shoulder.

“It is strange,” Antarë mused. “We, the Wakers, woke as we are...but we are numbered. One hundred and forty-four. There have not been any others found, not since Nurwë and her folk joined the Nelyar...that was many star-cycles ago. The quendi we see now, they are born from us as the animals bear children, small and fragile and yet...precious.”

“And we wish for this,” Ingwë marveled. “As we wish for bonds, one with another.”

“And the act,” Antarë agreed, “is it not one and the same? To make a bond, you either Wake with it, or you become One with another. And that union may in itself make a new quendë!”

“Not always,” Ingwë said. “Ingalaurë and Alcariniel were bonded many star-cycles before Indis was born. Ingalaurë said...hm, they said it took _will_ , between the two of them, for a new life-spark to take root in Alcariniel’s belly. It was not the same as their bonding.”

“And yet it could not happen without it,” Antarë countered. “But still—yes, you are right. I have heard, also, that Rōka and Anmíridil have bonded, but without the physical union. And as néri, they could not beget a child even were their bond made...” She frowned. “...in full? I do not know if that is the best word, I admit.”

Ingwë touched her face gently. “These desires we have...I do not fully understand them,” he admitted. “And yet I am subject to them all the same. I am glad to have Woken with Ingalaurë as my sibling, and yet in you I find an urge to bond anew.”

“I feel the same,” Antarë breathed, “for all I Woke with Tinwë my brother. But this place...” She sighed. “For all I understand why our friends choose to bond and create, my soul warns me to wait, even though I have found you, dearest Ingwë. I feel a yearning for _more_ than this. There _must_ be more.”

“And were I to bond with you, I would not dare create a child with you, not here,” Ingwë said sadly. “My heart sings at the thought—and Indis would love a playmate! But it is not safe here. It would not feel right, to me.”

“And yet we do not leave, and seek safer lands,” Antarë pointed out.

Sorrow passed over Ingwë’s face. “Ai, but that is also dangerous, melda. Were not Ñolyo and Silindë taken by the Shadow in such an attempt?”

“Ñolyo was more fortunate,” Antarë muttered. “He died. Silindë...she simply disappeared. To be Taken....I fear that even more than death.”

“Then so we shall remain,” sighed Ingwë. “Unbonded, childless, waiting for the stars to smile upon us and bless us with peace, without our doing anything.”

“It will come in time,” Antarë promised. “Someday, melindo, we will be safe.”

* * *

As soon as Elmo left, a dreamy look in his eyes, his brothers turned to one another in surprise.

“Did you—?” Olwë began.

Elwë nodded. “Yes. He feels—”

“Different,” Olwë agreed.

They stared at one another for a moment, then looked back to where Elmo had wandered over to the firepit. Other quendi clapped and congratulated him, and even from a distance Elwë could feel the change. He knew his brothers’ souls almost as well as his own, and while Olwë was the same as ever...

Elmo was not.

It was—disconcerting. Olwë felt it too. And when Ferinya ducked out of their tent to join the small group of Nelyar around the fire, Elmo’s fëa brightened, calling out to its mate.

“I suppose now that they are bonded, he will sleep with Ferinya,” Olwë mused.

Elwë sighed. It would be strange, to have only one brother beside him in his tent when he was so used to two, but...

“I would hope so,” he teased, “for if we can feel how he reacts to his new bond just when he and Ferinya hold hands—”

Olwë shuddered at the implication. “You are right. We learned long ago to find private places for private...activities.”

“Do you think you will bond?” Elwë mused.

“I do not know,” Olwë admitted. “My soul does not sing for another’s, not now. And all my companionship is found and fulfilled with you and Elmo and our friends.”

“Perhaps your bond-mate has yet to be found,” Elwë suggested. “There will be no more Wakers, but you have not met them all. And the children are growing up. One day perhaps they will seek bonds also.”

“And you, brother?” inquired Olwë. “Will you bond?”

Elwë hummed, considering. For all he enjoyed the companionship of his brothers, he saw how a bond changed a quendë, and not only in Elmo. He had little desire to tie himself to one who could perhaps constrain him—and no quendë had caught his attentions long enough to keep them.

Still, the physical union—he had never gone so far as to be unable to return, but Nówë had lain with him before, and it had been enjoyable. Such pleasure was fun, and if one was careful, needed not to lead to a bond. But he had heard whispers that it was better, more intense, once one had bonded with a partner, and there was a certain allure in _not_ needing to take caution. But would it be worth the cost?

“I do not think so,” he concluded. “I can have what I desire without bonding, and I wish not to be tied down.”

Olwë snorted. “You are strange. Our ties to one another are what make us different from the birds and beasts.”

“No,” Elwë corrected, “our _words_ do. We are Quendi, after all—not Véri!”

**Author's Note:**

> Véri = Q.; plural of vérë, “bond,” as in oath, contract, troth. Constructed following the pattern of Quendë → Quendi, with “quend” meaning “speech.”
> 
> NOTES ON NAMES:  
> (characters with a * before their name are OCs)  
> Most characters have Quenya or Quenya-adjacent names at this point in their lives; I’m using that as a stand-in for the proto-Eldarin language.
> 
> *Silindë = “one who shines white”; the mother of Míriel; a Nelya; Unbegotten  
> *Ñolyo = “dark-haired one”; the father of Míriel; a Tatya; Unbegotten  
> *Antarë = “high/lofty one”; the (future) wife of Ingwë; a Minya; Unbegotten  
> *Ingalaurë = “high gold”; the sibling of Ingwë and parent of Indis; a Minya; Unbegotten; Tolkien considered this name as the mother-name of Arafinwë and Findaráto, but eventually settled on “Ingoldo” instead, so I repurposed it as a Vanyarin ancestor of theirs  
> *Alcariniel = “brilliant star”; the wife of Ingalaurë and mother of Indis; a Minya; Unbegotten; the element _-iel_ in her name does not mean “daughter” but rather is related to _el_ , “star,” in the same manner that _Undómiel_ can be translated as “evening star”  
> Rōka = the proto-Quenya name for Rôg; the partner of Anmíridil; a Tatya; Unbegotten  
> Anmíridil = “lover of great jewels”; my take on a Quenya-ish version of _Enerdhil_ , the jewelsmith of Gondolin; the partner of Rōka; a Tatya; Unbegotten; I did consider the more obvious version of _Anardil_ but since _Anar_ means “Sun” and this is before the rising of the Sun, I instead went with something that referenced jewels and thus his craft  
> *Tinwë = “spark/star”; the brother of Antarë; a Minya; Unbegotten  
> *Ferinya = “beechen”; the spouse of Elmo and (future) parent of Galadhon; a Nelya; Unbegotten  
> Nówë = the original name for Círdan; a Nelya; Unbegotten
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please comment if you enjoyed!  
> You can find me on tumblr [@arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/).


End file.
